Being "with Anxiety as Temperatures Rise
I took a little break from my commitment to a weekly missive!
Sometimes I have so much running around in my head and heart that getting it out onto paper eludes me.
So I waited until something arose and then settled. Here it is.
For better or worse or?
Sending love and a smile of encouragement as well!
---I could feel the climate anxiety scratching at the door of my mind last week.
69 degrees in Central Oregon in February, after very warm days in January. Yikes and what beauty.
Snap, crackle, pop says the anxiety I notice sizzling in my solar plexus.
And at the same time part of me wondering----how to be with life in the present time and hold the questions of behaviors and habits that have led us/me from the past, to now, to what we/me don’t really know for sure about the future. Where science meets mystery. Whew.
What was most present in the moment was, "How can I be with anxiety instead of it become me?"
A part of me does know what is helpful.
So---
Later that same day I had a call with a friend who shares the practice of “being with” parts of ourselves together.
We settled into a quiet presence after a brief check in, and I closed my eyes and dropped into my body.
Bringing my attention to the middle of myself.
Heart, throat, belly.
Feeling the sensations of snap and crackle---
And then slowly an emerging image of
A reddish brown hound dog, with long floppy ears,
Their eyes pointed upwards, mouth open and they are howling, yowling---
at the moon blossoming night sky.
I sense the sizzling temper as I stay with the howling
Let the sound
The vibration
Of what feels like mourning move into tolling.
Resounding into the air and downward into the earth.
A yearning vocalization that answers as an offering.
She opens to swallow the sound and it seeps and fills.
And in stillness steadies me a bit.
No words to understand. Or process.
Only the vibrational intersection of animacy.
Anxiety continues to pop up this week and now I sound it.
I howl. Or om. Or hum.
And then I honor the earth in some way, with a gesture or a prayer or a listen.
An invitation to howling in community is also rising in me! (no need to wait though, if a howl calls run with it!)
For now---
And because this is Wonder Uprising and examining topics through questions is part of what we do ---
I wanted to invite us to explore this question together:
What is your relationship to fossil fuel?
It's possible this question will bring up some resistance. I can feel a titch in me.
To reveal and peal with each other.
To listen. To witness.
Not a shaming or blaming session.
Perhaps another way to mourn. and who knows what will rise with wonder as a leader.
Not clear.
Exactly.
I do know being together with these kinds of questions changes me and those of you who have participated in the past!
If you want some community around this topic please join us for a Wonder Uprising Session on March 8th!
RSVP
Many blessings on this wild and often confusing ride called life.
To cultivating Wonder,
Carol
P.S. I became a climate reality leader with Al Gore’s program HERE
P.S.S. I listened to Winona LaDuke recently and she is well, Wow, you can find her HERE
P.S.S.S. I am taking a new class through this Place and learning a lot.
P.S.S.S.S. I also am reading Sister Outsider by Audre Lorde.